Don't question my statistics, trust me they're ALL proven.
Here's a brief guideline on 2k for the ladies to follow if you want your relationship to work this Winter...
- If you walk into the house & he has a headset on, the most communicating that you're allowed to do at this very moment is a greeting. Do NOT insist on him "Pausing" the game at this moment, that will only piss him off. DON'T use this time to talk about your day or how pissed off you are that Kim wore the same dress as you the other night.
- Take crucial notes on his mannerisms, if he's angry that means he's losing BAD, BAD, very very BAD. An angry 2ker isn't someone you want to annoy, instead try preparing a sandwich & a beverage. When he's done losing that will distract him enough for you to express yourself. Food plus 2k means he's NOT going ANYWHERE.
- Half-Time - This is the halfway mark & the last stretch of the game. If he's winning he'll be somewhat comfortable & just has to finish off strong BUT if he's losing this can be the most tense & annoying 10-14 minutes of your life.
- 4th Quarter - This is it right here, I suggest you either leave the room or find something quiet to. This is the last quarter of the game, if you even roll around in the bed too much, or even sneeze he'll blame losing on you. You don't want to be held responsible for a 2k loss, trust me you do NOT want that on your conscience unless you're a heartless evil lil' woman.
- There's a huge misconception that you can learn how to & play with him, get rid of that ridiculous idea. You ladies are hilarious for that one, I laugh myself into a headache EVERY TIME a female brings up that thought. NO you are NOT allowed to play "NBA 2k" with me. I didn't make these rules, I just follow them.
- Standing in front of the tv screen, pushing the buttons on the controller or even threatening to break his console while he's playing will only put you both in domestic violence court.
- If your man/boyfriend/boo or whatever it is plays 9-12 minute quarters in "NBA 2k" you might as well just leave him. Trust me, any dude that plays that many minutes in a single quarter won't have time for you anyway & there's a 85.9% chance that he has a rape charge in his future if he doesn't already have one pending.
- Be happy that he's playing 2k & NOT with the next chick.
- The first four weeks after the release of "NBA 2k" is definitely your time. She'll just have to understand that, but anything after four weeks you may be offering your girl up for charity.
- If you're getting thrashed in "NBA 2k", just chalk up your losses & spend time with your lady, it makes no sense to keep embarrassing yourself online while she's there next to you all bored.
- "NBA 2k" victories would mean NOTHING if you can't gloat about how you ran through the competition then did a victory lap inside a female companion.
- If you allow your lady to play 2k with you & she beats you...Check the neck, because she may really be a man or you just might not be a real one yourself.